Single Parenting Tips That Help Make Life Easier

We live in a society where single parenting is becoming more and more common. While some parents choose to parent solo, others find themselves unexpectedly navigating parenting alone after separation, divorce, or the loss of a partner. For me, single parenthood became my reality very suddenly when my husband unexpectedly died at 36 years old.

Single parenting was never a path I imagined for myself, and I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers. But through grief, parenting, and learning how to carry responsibilities I never expected to carry alone, I’ve discovered a few things that have helped me navigate this new season of life.

If you’re adjusting to single parenthood, I hope these tips encourage you, support you, and remind you that you don’t have to do everything perfectly to be a good parent.

5 Single Parenting Tips

Single parenting comes with emotional, mental, and practical challenges that can feel overwhelming at times. While every family’s situation looks different, these single parenting tips have helped me care for both my children and myself through some incredibly difficult seasons.

1. Build a Community

Back in the good old days, families lived close to one another. Friends became like family, and church felt like home. Your town was where everyone knew who you were and what your life was like (whether you liked it or not). Unfortunately, in my opinion, this is no longer the case. Families live scattered all over the globe, making it harder to build close friendships and support systems nearby. Church is no more than a quick blip on a Sunday morning (maybe), and towns are large, loud, and filled with strangers. No wonder it can feel so hard to find consistent support while parenting on your own.

Despite all of this, solo parenting requires the help of a community, and it’s up to us to put in the effort to create one.

• Reach out to trusted family members who live close by.
• Join a mommy group, or a single-mommy group (even if it’s just a Facebook group for now).
• Join a church and participate in small group activities.
• Get to know some neighbors.

Building these kinds of relationships takes time, but even a small support system can make a huge difference.

I know it’s hard to want to put yourself out there and start fostering healthy relationships, but it is necessary. Being a single parent is hard enough; doing it alone makes it more challenging. But you don’t have to do it alone if you carefully build that community around you and your kiddos.

Related: 10 Friends Every Mom Needs

2. Practice Self-Care

This one has been difficult for me, even before I was a single mom. Self-care felt very selfish to me, not to mention a waste of time. Take a bath? There’s laundry to be done! Get a pedicure? I could use that money on something useful! Have a quiet time in the morning? Pfft, I’d rather sleep in! I get it. But self-care is much more important than you may think.

Having even a small amount of time each day where you can simply be yourself instead of constantly caring for everyone else can make a huge difference emotionally and mentally.

I try to have at least 15 minutes of “me time” in the morning before my kids come downstairs. I use this time to read, relax, get caught up on things around the house, and sip my coffee while it’s still hot. You may use 15 minutes in the morning to do something entirely different. Whatever will satisfy you is what you should focus on in those first 15 minutes. Then maybe sneak a bath into your evening if you get lucky!

Related: Quick Self-Care Tips for Busy Moms

3. Know Your Limits

There’s only so much one person can do in a day. There’s only so much one person can realistically carry on their own. I get overwhelmed if I think about everything I now have to carry while parenting alone after losing my husband. It’s all just too much! I have had to discover and set my limits so I don’t go crazy worrying about everything.

For me, that means I can only do one activity per kid. My daughter does ballet, and my son does soccer. It also means I order food more often instead of making homemade meals every night of the week. I ask people for help more than I ever did when my husband was alive. It also means there are some weeks when I will hire the kid down the street to mow my lawn so I can take just one thing off my to-do list.

You are a strong, amazing, capable parent, and I know you CAN do all the things, but that doesn’t mean you have to or should. There is something to be said for knowing your limits and not pushing yourself past those boundaries.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for and take help when you need it. It’s okay to say no when you can’t take any more. It’s okay to take a break sometimes. You and your kids will be much better off if you know and honor your limits.

Related: Parenting Through Divorce: How to Divorce Gracefully

4. Give Yourself Grace

Giving yourself grace goes hand in hand with knowing your limits. When you decide that you can’t handle making dinner tonight, order pizza instead. Then don’t beat yourself up about it. When you yell at your kid for the millionth time that day because you’ve lost all patience, understand that we’ve all been there and that you are not ruining your child. I can’t tell you how often I’ve cried myself to sleep because I feel like I’m failing my children.

But I have to remember to give myself grace. To forgive myself when I feel like I’ve fallen short. I must remember to choose to do my best every morning. Then, to be gentle with myself when I come up short.

Parenting is hard work. I would argue that it’s the most challenging job you will ever have. You will not be perfect at it, so stop giving yourself a hard time when you’re not. Just love your kids and do your best. Sometimes we just need the reminder that love and showing up every day truly matter most.

Related: 20 Tips To Avoid Mom Burnout and Find Balance

5. Practice Open Communication

Practicing open communication with your kids and with your support system is key to successful single parenting. As much as it is my instinct to hide my grief from my kids after losing their dad, I quickly realized that letting them see my grief was a good thing. It helped them understand their grief and understand that my sadness was so big because my love for their daddy was so big.

Instead of pretending that everything is okay, I will let myself cry and explain to the kids that I’m just feeling sad about Daddy. They come over, hug me, and reassure me that everything will be okay. Sometimes they join me, and we all have a good, healing cry together. And then we dry our eyes and get up and keep going.

Being open with your children in age-appropriate ways can help them feel emotionally safe and remind them they are not alone in their feelings.

Communication is also key with your support system. You must consistently express what you need and your expectations: “I need you to watch my son from 10-2 today, and he needs to nap after lunch.” No one can read your mind, and only you know exactly what you need.

Asking for help can feel uncomfortable at first, especially when you’re used to handling everything yourself.

There are people out there who genuinely want to support you, but if you don’t communicate your needs and ask for help, they may not know how. Be open, honest, and clear with the people around you so you can all work together to give your family the emotional support it needs.

Related: 5 Reasons It Takes a Village to Raise a Mom

Single Parenting Is a Tough Job

I know I’m still only scratching the surface of all the challenges single parenting can bring, but I’m determined to keep showing up for my kids while also caring for myself along the way. I hope these tips help make your own parenting journey feel a little less overwhelming, too.

And if you need the reminder today: you are doing a good job. Your children do not need perfection. They need your love, your presence, and the care you give them every single day.