Ever heard the phrase, “I open my mouth, and my mother comes out?” Yeah, well. I never thought it to be true for me.
My mom and I are 100% different in tons of ways. She’s organized, and I’m all over the place. She is a planner, and I’m a procrastinator. She’s a neat freak, and I’m a pig. She communicates feelings, and I bury them. (Wow, reading these differences makes me look like a highly irritating human.) But in all honesty, all of the above is true.
Yet, after having kids, I started noticing a shift in me. I started needing her more and listening to her more. Also, I began to have more patience with her than I did before. Maybe it’s because I started getting a taste of my own medicine with my two little rascals and realizing that she wasn’t so annoying or embarrassing after all.
Since Mother’s Day recently passed, I reflected on how awesome my mom really is, and I started noticing things about myself that are becoming just like her. Things that I never thought would change about me – but I now realize that “turning into my mom” isn’t such a bad thing after all.
6 Ways I’m Turning Into My Mom:
1. I sound just like her on the phone.
I can’t count how many times I’ve answered the phone, and friends and family have commented on how much our voices sound the same. Or, out of confusion, they might even completely mistake my voice for hers altogether and say her name instead of mine. Maybe it’s the way we say “Hello” with a hint of Texas twang, or perhaps it’s the way we annunciate the “you” in “How are you.” In any case, now that my vocal cords are 100% developed, hints of my mom naturally come out of my mouth.
2. The things that annoyed me are now the things I do too.
Things about my mom growing up would drive me absolutely bonkers – but now, I find myself doing or saying the same thing. Things like:
- “What time are you going to set your alarm in the morning to get ready?”
- Finally yelling after telling us to take out the trash for the 45th time.
- “Are you sure you want to wear that?”
- Reorganizing the dishwasher after asking someone else to load it up.
- “If your work isn’t done with excellence, it’s not done.”
- Reminding everyone about the importance of thinking before you speak.
- “What do you think the Lord would do in this situation?”
- Hitting the gas pedal and flooring it when annoyed.
These were all things I’d roll my eyes at, or completely ignore, or give a purposefully rebellious response. But now – I’m doing the same thing. Behind every one of those sentences are life lessons that were subconsciously molding me to be a halfway-respectable person as an adult. Or, they’re just hilarious mom-tendencies that are inevitable no matter what.
3. My physical features are morphing into hers.
I used to be kind of mean to my mom about how she looked and even acted prideful in how I looked compared to her. I never thought my boobs would lose their perk from breastfeeding, or that I’d develop crow’s feet around my eyes, or that I’d start losing muscle tone in my legs, or that I’d have “crêpey” skin around my belly from having babies, or that I’d need a motherload of facial moisturizer just to keep it from drying out. Yet – all of those things that she experienced when I was younger, I’m experiencing now. My body is now my mom’s. But instead of being upset about this aging process, I’m just simply feeling guilty about how I treated her for it back then. I look at myself sometimes and even tear up, thinking that even in the imperfections, my mom was (and is) still so freaking beautiful.
4. Our fashion sense is now identical.
I remember times in high school where I’d freak out for not having anything to wear. My mom would try to calm me down by saying, “Honey, why don’t you find something to wear from my closet?” Instead of even trying to look for something, I’d make a disrespectful gagging noise, as if that was the dumbest thing in the world for her to suggest. Yet, every time I visit her now, I’m always rummaging through her walk-in closet, trying to find pieces that looked better than what I packed. Especially since our bodies are now so similar in every way, her clothes are just as flattering on me as they are on her. On top of that, she’s actually on top of it when it comes to fashion trends, probably way more than me. Swapping out clothes like we’re sisters has become an all-too-often occurrence when we are together, and I really love it.
5. The things she valued are now the things I value.
When it comes to raising kids, I’m finding that the things that were so important to her are now important to me. And when it comes to being a good woman, things about her are now things I’m striving to become. Things like:
- Getting everyone in the family involved in church.
- Keeping all things on a calendar system.
- Having a bedtime routine for the kids and never straying from it.
- Being heavily involved in all of my kids’ extracurricular activities.
- Always sending thank you notes in the mail.
- Being an extravagant giver and encourager to others, without expecting anything in return.
- Only listening to worship music when the kids are in the car.
- Letting go of past hurts and never keeping a record of wrongs.
- Extending mercy to those who don’t deserve it.
And so many other things that have been instilled in me because of her. And I’m so not mad about it because these values are precious, admirable, and really, really sweet.
6. Selflessness has overcome selfishness.
Before marriage and kids, life was all about me. I remember so many times I’d take advantage of my mom’s giving heart. But now, I’m noticing that my time, my plans, my actions, and my decisions are all wrapped up in not myself – but my family.
- The TV shows less Kardashian’s and more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
- My wardrobe is three years outdated, but my daughter’s closet is on point.
- My nails aren’t manicured, but my son’s hair is freshly cut.
- Days don’t involve mimosas over brunch with the girls, but rather bibs and high chairs and bowls of oatmeal.
- The grocery cart isn’t filled with wine and cheese but rather diapers and animal crackers.
- My downtime isn’t spent napping. And instead, I’m picking up toys while the kids are napping.
- Hobbies no longer include going to social gatherings but rather teaching my kids how to socialize and recite their ABCs.
- My hours aren’t spent figuring out my future but trying to stay as present as possible while my babies are still little.
Becoming a mom forces you to take on a whole other level of selflessness that I’ve never had before. And looking back – that’s precisely who my mom was. Full of grace, unconditional love, and one who put our needs first before her own.
Yes, I’m turning into my mom.
And I’m super freaking proud of it.