Becoming a stay-at-home mom changes your life overnight. Going from a full-time job to being home with a newborn can feel overwhelming, exhausting, and nothing like what you pictured. Even when you love your decision, the days can be long and unpredictable.
In the beginning, survival mode is normal. But once things settle a bit, having a simple routine can make your days feel more manageable and give you a sense of rhythm at home. A routine does not need to be rigid. It just needs to support you and your kids in a way that brings more peace to your day.
Related: Tips for Transitioning from Working Mom to Stay-at-Home Mom
What To Consider When Building Your SAHM Routine
Before creating a routine, it’s helpful to reflect on what your day should include for both you and your kids. Here are some important things to consider.
Getting Enough Sleep
The first thing to consider as a stay-at-home mom is ensuring you get enough sleep. Nothing will derail your day like being exhausted. You will be irritable and angry, and your mood will affect the entire house. Getting enough sleep will be key to having a good day with your kids. Of course, if your little one is waking up throughout the night, do your best to nap during the day when you can. We know it’s not always possible, but prioritize your sleep when it is possible. I know it can be tempting to get up early or stay up super late to get things done or have alone time, but not getting enough sleep can potentially cause problems. Before setting time aside, do what you can to get the sleep you need.
Also, make sure to set nap times for your kids (as many as they developmentally need) because they also need their sleep and will get grumpy, just like you, if they don’t. Having rested kids will help make your day, and theirs go more smoothly.
Related: 5 Truths About Becoming a SAHM No One Tells You
Finding Time for Yourself
If you are getting the sleep you need, it can be nice to get up early and stay up a bit late. Just try not to overdo it. An hour in the morning to get a workout in or sip your coffee in peace and a couple of hours at night are probably enough. And if you need some time for yourself during the day, you can also find it in small increments.
Depending on the ages of your children, you may be able to get them up and engaged in an activity while you do something else. Having a set time for independent play is helpful. Another great time to get things done is during their nap. Again, if you are super tired, you may also consider taking a nap on some days. It just depends on how things are going.
What Needs to Get Done Each Day
Everyone’s homes look a little different. How I split responsibilities with my partner might not be the same as how you do in your home, and that’s okay. When organizing your stay-at-home-mom routine, write out your responsibilities so that nothing gets left off. Some examples are:
- Kids’ morning routine — getting up, going to the bathroom, eating breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth, brushing hair
- School drop-off and pickup
- Cleaning
- Meal planning/meal prepping
- Cooking
- Laundry
- Nap time schedules
- Grocery shopping/errands
- Extracurricular activities — packing items, driving to and from, watching practice
- Outings/playdates
- Paperwork/pay bills
- Trash
- Pet maintenance
- Yardwork/garden
- Kids’ bathtime routine
- Dinner
- Washing/putting away dishes
- Kids’ bedtime routine
You’ll also want to list the tasks you want to do throughout your week. Some ideas are:
- Reading
- Workout
- Meditation
- Alone time
- Date night
- Self-care
Putting Together Your Stay-At-Home Mom Routine
Now that you have your list of responsibilities and things you want to accomplish, focus on the necessary tasks first, which may vary depending on the day or week. After that, you can fill in the extra tasks you would like to do. A sample framework of your stay-at-home mom routine could look something like this:
- 6:00 am — Wake up, quick workout, and shower
- 7:00 am — Get kids ready
- 8:00 am — School drop-off
- 8:30 am — Go somewhere for an activity or run errands
- 9:00 am — Snack time
- 9:30 am — Baby’s first nap (do your household responsibilities)
- 11:00 am — Wake and feed the baby (breast or bottle)
- 11:30 am — Prepare lunch
- 12:00 pm — Lunch
- 12:30 pm — Tidy up and clean while the baby does independent play
- 2:30 pm — Baby’s second nap (do your household responsibilities, do meal prep, or have “me time”)
- 3:30 pm — School pickup
- 4:00 pm — Take older child(ren) to extracurricular activities
- 5:30 pm — Prepare dinner
- 6:00 pm — Dinner
- 6:30 pm — Give kids a bath
- 7:00 pm — Bedtime routine and put kids to bed
- 7:30 pm — Tidy up
- 8:30 pm — Have alone time or quality time with your partner
- 10:00 pm — Bedtime
- 10:30 pm — (hopefully) Asleep
Mapping out a general stay-at-home mom routine and adjusting the activities on a weekly basis will help. You’ll be able to see where these tasks fit in and then tailor each week’s tasks specifically for that week.
How To Stay Balanced as a Stay-at-Home Mom
Even with a solid routine in place, life with littles can be unpredictable. These reminders can help you stay grounded, flexible, and supported on a day-to-day basis.
When to Ask for Help or Outsource Tasks
Every family will have a different routine that works for them. Maybe your partner works all day, and you take care of the cooking and cleaning while the kids are at school. Perhaps you’re with your kiddos from morning until evening and need help when your spouse comes home from work. Sometimes, I don’t get to clean or do the dishes, so my partner helps me and takes care of those tasks when he gets home. Or maybe you just had a tough day and need an extra hand to help get you through the rest of the evening. Whatever your current routine looks like, don’t hesitate to speak up and reach out.
If you are getting overwhelmed, it’s important to ask for help before you get burned out. Running yourself down to zero during the day isn’t helping anyone. You can outsource various tasks, such as dishes, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, and yard work. Whether your partner does these things or you hire someone else to help, taking things off your plate, if possible, will help you deal better on a day-to-day basis.
Balancing Your Kids’ Activities
As your kids get older, they may get involved in outside activities. These things could include sports, arts, or even playdates. It is essential not to overschedule, as you and your kids will become burned out. When my kids were babies, I thought we needed playdates weekly, but I soon realized it was unnecessary. Get out when you can and when it makes sense with your schedule, but you don’t need to get out all the time or every week if it doesn’t work.
Understanding That Routines Change
If there’s one thing that kids are, it’s unpredictable. Having a stay-at-home mom routine is great, but sometimes things change, and that’s okay. If your kids need extra attention or are having a bad day, you may need to adjust your schedule. It is impossible to set things in stone with kids. Approach your routine with the best intentions, but be aware that things may change. Having a loose routine as a stay-at-home mom is necessary for your sanity, but remember also to be flexible. Schedule the most important things, but be understanding with the rest. Make sure everyone gets enough sleep and food, and things will run smoothly.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a big job, and no two days look the same. A simple routine can bring structure, but it will always shift as your kids grow and your needs change. Give yourself grace, stay flexible, and remember that your presence matters more than getting everything done. You are doing an amazing job, and your family feels the difference every day.
