Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night after hearing a cry and rushed frantically to your baby, only to find them sleeping peacefully? How about swearing that you’ve heard your baby’s voice while in the shower or in a large crowd? Let us reassure you—you are not losing your marbles!
This phenomenon is called the “phantom cry” and is a common maternal experience. Rest assured, you are not alone.
What Is the Phantom Cry?
Substantive research on the topic is still lacking. However, experts believe that the highly stimulated maternal brain is wired to be sensitive to her baby’s cries, leading to a heightened awareness of sounds.1 One prominent theory is that the worry or anxiety experienced by new parents is also partly responsible.
Interestingly, people in other situations who have to respond to a stimulus acutely can experience the same thing. Doctors have often reported sudden awakening to sounds of pagers and the beeps and noises of an ER or ICU, even when we are not on call. The doctor might be more mentally alert to hearing these important sounds, often due to a fear of sleeping through them. Similarly, new parents might be just as sensitive and have a subconscious fear of missing their babies’ cries for help.
If these phantom cries put you off, don’t worry! We have a couple of reassurances and tips for you.
Remember That It’s Okay for Babies to Cry
That is their one job and only form of communication. So like Shrek once profoundly said, “All babies do is eat and poop and then cry . . . and they cry when they poop and poop when they cry.” This funny but astute observation illustrates babies will cry regardless of their needs.
Remember, Newborns Only Have One Type of Cry: The Panic Cry!
That doesn’t mean everything is actually panic-worthy! Whether cold, wet, hungry, tired, full, gassy, or just plain grumpy, newborns will act like all those are emergencies! Don’t worry; they are not. You don’t always have to rush to them.
Remember That You’re Likely Not Hallucinating
Even if you hear your baby’s voice when they clearly weren’t calling out, you are not alone in experiencing this phenomenon. And you are not going crazy!
Know That This Is Typically Temporary
Once the child’s sleep and wake cycles are more consistent and there is an established routine, parents naturally get more comfortable that their baby is safe, and the phantom cries dissipate.
Don’t Hesitate to Ask For Help
The concept of the phantom cry illustrates that sometimes unexplainable things happen when it comes to parenting. As pediatricians, we want to encourage you to reach out for help if you feel overwhelmed. If the phantom cries start interfering with your daily life and prevent you from getting sleep, taking care of your baby, or performing your essential daily activities, please do not hesitate to talk to your doctor.
Parents’ mental health is a key component to raising a healthy and happy baby. We encourage you not to ignore the signs and symptoms your body may be giving you. They could pass in time or be a clue into a deeper concern that needs to be addressed.
Overall, parenting is a marathon with many surprises. Most cases of phantom cries are simply due to a parent being extra heightened to their baby’s needs. The next time this happens to you, take a few deep breaths and marvel at your quiet baby. Remember, you’re one of many parents who have walked these steps before.
