“Don’t judge me. I haven’t had time to clean the house yet.”
I have literally heard this sentence about a million times. At every playdate, dinner, and visit, for some reason, other moms feel that they need to give me an explanation as to why their house isn’t perfect or a spotless dwelling. Let me say you don’t need to explain anything! I think it is absolutely crazy that we moms feel the need to explain why our house isn’t perfect to other moms who already know exactly how hard it is to keep your home neat while raising kids, especially toddlers.
I have a two-year-old, and it is a full-time job to keep up with her endless energy and mess-making abilities. It really is amazing how quickly she can destroy a room; she has superpowers. Every parent has been through this struggle. Either you follow the kids around all day cleaning up after them, or wait until every room in the house is destroyed and clean it all up after the kids are in bed.
I tend to be the type of parent that follows my kid around and cleans up after her. Being in a disorganized, messy house totally freaks me out and annoys me. I am the type of person that wants everything perfect all the time and can’t concentrate or be productive when everything isn’t in order. I’ve found that it’s easier to try to keep my home tidy than it is to try to clean up everything once it’s in a disastrous state.
Despite my best efforts, my house isn’t perfect.
There is always one room in my house that is pretty much always messy, usually the living room, where we spend much of our time during the day and in the evenings as a family. Despite my daughter having a well-stocked toy supply in her bedroom (and pretty much every other room), she rarely plays in the other spaces. She prefers the living room, and even though I’ve creatively hidden all that crap in decorative baskets and bins that look like an ottoman, it is safe to say that my living room could easily pass as a playroom most days.
On the messiest days, when I’m feeling worn out and tired of being a maid to my toddler, I wonder if cleaning up is even worth it! I mean, she is only going to do the same thing tomorrow. Then I remember that my in-laws are stopping by tomorrow, or my friend wants to come for a playdate in the morning, and I realize I have to get my crap together and somehow make my home immaculate, so they don’t judge me.
During these stressful mass cleanings, I wonder why I even allow people to visit my home. Having guests should not cause this much stress on me to make everything perfect! They are my closest friends and family, people who I should trust and feel comfortable around and who shouldn’t care if my house isn’t perfect! This does happen, though. Moms are frequently judged on how clean their house is, how Pinterest perfect their decor and meals are, and how effortless they make everything look. I say as long as it’s clean, and that’s referring to your kids, your house, even your toilet–as long as it’s clean, you are doing a great job!
Don’t worry about the people who will put you down for having a home your kiddo can enjoy.
My daughter is learning every time she dumps one of her toy baskets. Making a mess and being creative makes kids smart, and she’s also having a blast. So, the next time you are at a friend’s house or heading to a playdate and find army guys on the toilet seat, or dog fur on the couch, realize that all of us moms are struggling with the same thing. Don’t judge mama because you know how hard it is! Instead, let your kids play together and chat with your friend about raising these kids, about organizational tips and tricks, and ultimately have a great time! It’s a lot easier to relax and have a good time when you aren’t focusing all your energy on judging how clean another mom’s home is. I mean, that’s not the reason you visit them, so let it go, and pass the wine!