Taming Twin Tantrums

taming twin tantrums

Taming Twin Tantrums

Twins, Tantrums, the Terrible Twos, and Threenagers!

Having two and three year olds is about the nearest flash-forward you’ll get to those teen years! But having twin 2 and 3 year olds, well that just calls for a membership to the Wine Club! Most of us want to have a tantrum ourselves in the wake of our child’s breakdown, but we try our best to keep our cool and navigate through these really trying times with your little ones. Here are a few tips to use when your twins have a meltdown the next time:

1. Walk Away

Most of us want to reason with our kids in the midst of a tantrum, but we will all learn that this is a futile attempt because a child in the middle of a tantrum will not listen or understand what you are saying, let alone reason and communicate with you as to what is wrong with them. The best thing to do at this point is to let them know you will walk away to give them a little time off. Not paying attention to the tantrum, most times, will give that child a bit of space to calm down and understand that with that behavior they will not get the attention they are looking for. By giving attention, you are fueling the tantrum and perhaps having them scream and cry a bit louder. Walking away will not only give the child time to calm down, but time for you to regroup before your nerves escalate even more. In most instances, the other twin has caused said tantrum, remove the other twin away from twin doing floor angels to avoid getting them more upset.

2. Get Down on Their Level

Many times when they are having a tantrum, we are having our own tantrum and we are towering over them and looking downward and trying to reason from 4 feet above them. Getting down to their level and sitting on the floor with them as they are calming down will have better results than you standing or trying to pick them up. Sitting or kneeling at their face level will give them the message that you are coming down to their view of the world and that you are trying to see things from their point of view. Once you are able to talk to them, bring in the other twin, if they aided in the tantrum, and speak to both, as to how we can solve the problem for future play. Also, acknowledge their feelings of being upset and frustrated and give them examples as to how they can verbalize to coexist with the same toys and games. Not only telling them to use their words, but giving examples of what words might work for them in future situations.

READ MORE
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3. Mom’s Bag of Tricks

Of course, if you are home it is easier for the this to be possible, but like most of us, these wonderful serenades happen in public more times than not. And when these happen, don’t you just want to be swallowed whole by the earth? But instead, we smile, speak through our teeth and sweat profusely as we try to offer any kind of diversion from every parent’s worse nightmare in the middle of the grocery store. As onlookers are giving you stares, you reach into your purse for anything to distract your child and try to remain calm. Having a little toy car, a little book, or any other toy or trinket that they haven’t seen in a while will perhaps calm the storm for a bit. If all else fails pull out your phone with Kids Youtube! Also having them help grab something from the shelf or put in a bag can cause a distraction. More times than not at a grocery store or a restaurant, the tantrum is happening because they are hungry, tired, or just plain bored. Doing these errands after they have slept and eaten will go a lot more smoothly.

4. Stay Cool & Collected

Although this is incredibly hard at the time, talking in your most calm and soothing voice is key. If they feel your tension and frustration, things will only escalate. The whole reason that they are having a tantrum in the first place is to get attention. They don’t care if it’s positive or negative attention, they just want YOUR FULL attention. Talking calmly lets your child understand that their behavior will not get to you in a negative way. Although you are staying calm for them, you are also doing it as much for yourself to avoid your blood pressure tipping the charts! Acknowledge their feelings of being upset and frustrated and give them examples as to how they can verbalize their feelings.

READ MORE
5 Tips for Bringing Home Twins to Your Toddler

5. Cuddles Go a Long Way

I have proven this works in the last couple of tantrums we have had. Instead of escalating with my children, recently I have just told them I am going to hug you now, or if I sense their mood. I will just hug without saying anything and instantly they will stop and hug right back. I’ll usually rub their back and sit on the couch or floor and not saying anything, I will rock and rub them for a good 5 minutes. This has worked wonders here at home because a tantrum is usually flared by the other sibling, lack of attention, or not getting something quick enough.

6. Change of Scenery

In public, the cuddling is usually a bit harder as you may have other kids, strollers, shopping carts, groceries, etc. In this instance, it is best to drop everything and just go to the car and regroup. Sometimes the atmosphere is a bit too much stimulation for a 2 and 3 year old. Noise, loud sounds, too much stimulation, and too many people may trigger a tantrum. Changing the atmosphere usually helps. In a grocery store, leave the groceries and go back to the car and take a minute or two for things to subside. At a restaurant, just take a walk outside for bit and once they are calm, talk things over before coming back in. At a friend’s house go outside and change the scenery for a moment. Sometimes they just need a time out from that situation.

Finally, laugh it off! As much as the situation is one of the most mortifying moments a parent can go through, smiling and acting like its not a big deal in public is what others will notice, not how bad your child is! At the end of the day, a child is a child and is part of their growth to have tantrums, but how you manage it will say the most about you, at least to all those parents and onlookers with perfect parenting skills and perfect children!

READ MORE
What it's Like Raising Twins
About the Author /

Joanna Navarrese, CPRC, IMPI-CBP is Twin Love Concierge’s USA President and mother to three beautiful children--one girl and a set of fraternal boy/girl twins. She is a graduate from the prestigious International Maternity and Parenting Institute alongside being CPR certified with a Bachelors of Science in Culinary Arts and Food Management. Joanna has been featured on Un Nuevo Dia con Adamari Lopez as their resident “twin expert”.

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Instagram post 18074272528164523 @debiandbebi wrote these words when she was a new mom and struggled with #postpartumdepression. She hopes to remind everyone that it is okay to struggle with being a new mom and that does not mean you don't love your baby. ❤️⁠
(quote by @debiandbebi)⁠
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Instagram post 17863413055589017 When they wake up in the morning and give you that big grin . . . 😍 There is nothing sweeter.⁠
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Instagram post 17862171103601373 All of these things make me happy. What would you add to your self care toolbox?⁠
I'm seriously needing some of these things tonight to start a new week. Hoping you mamas get some self care time too! 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #selfcare #selfcaretoolbox #mumlife #mommylife #metime #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
Instagram post 17974795027288980 Was he dreaming he was riding a bike last night escaping from wild animals?! OUCH! 🤕🚲⁠
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Instagram post 18081610903134401 Praying that your toddler let's you get to sleep this weekend. 🙏💤⁠
📷: unknown⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
Instagram post 17866776847554303 Above all else, let us teach them to be kind. 💗⁠
(quote: @mommywinetime)⁠
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Instagram post 17853200368708392 SURPRISE! A little shocked, a little tired, and a LOT BLESSED. Congrats, @sarah_lit! ❤️⁠
📷: @sarah_lit⁠
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#babyannouncement #pregnancyannouncement #pregnancy #pregnant #momtobe #pregnancylife #mamatobe #babybump #pregnancyjourney #bumpie #preggo #maternity #motherhood #momlife #expecting #mumlife #mommytobe #pregnantlife #babyontheway #inspirepregnancy #mommychick #babychick #babyonboard #mumtobe
Instagram post 17864808397574241 Pregnant and hungry all the time? Here are some great ideas to keep in the fridge when the hunger pains kick in! 🤰👍⁠
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Instagram post 18073051357163780 When it comes to clamping the cord, our mottos is "what's the rush?" The blood volume in the placenta and cord at the time of birth is BABY'S blood. It's simply mid-circulation in the placenta at the time of birth. It just makes sense to leave it be and let it finish its job.⁠
No, the blood won't drain out of baby and go backwards into the placenta.⁠
No, your baby is not more likely to get sick from jaundice.⁠
Yes, your baby will still be getting oxygen while they figure out breathing, especially important if they need resuscitation.⁠
Yes, your baby will have better iron levels for the first year of their life.⁠
Look at how thick and engorged this cord still is at 4 and 18 minutes after baby was born. Just imagine how much blood baby would have lost if the cord had been clamped immediately, or at 60 seconds, 90 seconds, or 3 minutes! The placenta was expelled immediately before the 18 minute photo was taken. The pulse in the cord could still be felt even AFTER THE PLACENTA HAD BEEN DELIVERED! The cord was finally clamped and cut more than an hour after birth at 73 minutes. ❤️⁠
📷: @lawrenrosephotography⁠
Informative post and words by @bundleborn⁠
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#placenta #lotusbirth #homebirth #midwife #midwifery #phsiologicThirdStage #delayedcordclamping #optimalcordclamping #waitforwhite #whatstherush #postpartum #birth #laboranddelivery #babychick #mommychick
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Instagram post 17852665306696124 With the holiday season upon us and moms trying to make everything magical for their families, remember to stop and take a moment to take care of you. ❤️ Have a hot cup of coffee, a long warm shower and some alone time. Communicate this with your partner not as a wish but as a necessity. We must take the time to take care of ourselves to better take care of them. 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 18095239591099259 After holiday feasting . . . this baby gets me.⁠ 🤣
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Instagram post 17844162355818683 I think I had a little too much turkey . . . and pie. 😬🍗🥧 #leggingsforlife⁠
📷: @hallmarkbaby⁠
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Instagram post 17990835490280335 I totally felt this way when I was pregnant. And kinda feel this way after all that turkey. 🤣🦃 Happy turkey day to all you expecting mamas!!⁠
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Instagram post 18094211479105476 I spy with my little eye the cutest turkey ever. 😍 Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Hope it's filled with love, laughter, and cuteness like this. ❤️⁠
📷: @emilyshapaka⁠
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Instagram post 17852562805720320 Loneliness is a real thing in new motherhood and I want to be sure we talk about this. It's okay to say, "I feel lonely." We normalize one another's experiences when we share the reality of our journey. It can be so isolating when we bring our small human home and our lives revolve around his/her care. We feel detached from the outside world. The monotony of new motherhood can be heavy.⁠
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Here are some tips to combat isolation:⁠
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1️⃣ Get outside when possible.⁠
2️⃣ Video chat with friends/family.⁠
3️⃣ Join a virtual group.⁠
4️⃣ Invite someone to come over.⁠
5️⃣ Find a local mom's group.⁠
6️⃣ Listen to the radio or a podcast (it's interesting how this can make us feel connected with others)⁠
7️⃣ Run an errand--even grabbing a coffee via drive-thru can feel good.⁠
8️⃣ Get to know your neighbors.⁠
What would you add to the list?⁠
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Repost: words and 📷 by @psychedmommy⁠
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Instagram post 17867282176536875 ⁠For the week of Thanksgiving (and longer if you can!) let's focus on what we DO have instead of what we lack. The more we express gratitude and appreciate our blessings the more we recognize all of our blessings and everything we should be thankful for. 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #gratitude #thankful #mumlife #mommylife #mommychick #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #thanksgiving #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
Instagram post 17855722339639264 ✈️ Tips to Survive a Plane Ride with Kids ✈️⁠
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Flying on a plane with your little one for the first time can be terrifying. Are they going to cry the whole time? How will they handle the airport, the turbulence and the landing? Well we have some tips that will help prepare you for your flight with your kids. Here's what to do to have a more enjoyable experience 😊 {Link in bio!}⁠
📷: unknown⁠
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Instagram post 17895768721417819 Who you gonna call?⁠ 🤣🤣🤣
📷: Martiza Elizabeth on FB
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