Learning To Filter Your So-Called Friends

Learning To Filter Your So-Called Friends | Baby Chick

Learning To Filter Your So-Called Friends

In the days of social media, navigating motherhood is harder than ever. In an attempt to be transparent and “keeping it real” we often openly share about our #momfails just as often as we share our mom wins. But are your followers laughing with you or AT you? Sometimes it can be hard to tell. I think we’ve all fallen victim to the backhanded compliments, the negative posts or vague status updates (Is she talking about ME?), and because we’ve all been there I wanted to talk with you about learning to filter your so-called “friends” and identifying mean girls turned mean mommies online. So what exactly is a Facebook frenemy?
 
fren·e·my
ˈfrenəmi/

noun

informal
plural noun: frenemies
a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.

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Sounds fairly harsh, right? Someone who appears to be a friend despite secretly being a hater. It can be a blow to the ego and the heart when you realize that not everyone who clicks “add friend” or “follow” on your accounts actually have your best interests in mind. So how do we identify who to weed out?

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A real friend will tell you what they’re thinking to your face. If you posted a questionable parenting post on Facebook, they will talk to you about it. They want to protect you, to positively inspire you, to pick you up when you’re low. A frenemy will screen shot that post and tear you to shreds in private group chats.

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Still wondering how to pinpoint who you need to “unfriend”? Follow people’s actions. Chances are if you ask for carpool help due to a jam packed schedule, need a recipe for a dinner that will impress the in-laws, or pat yourself on the back about your latest fitness goal, your true friends will be sincerely happy FOR you and happy to help you out! They might offer a link to their favorite recipe or be willing to trade a school pick up for babysitting. A frenemy will offer a critique of your jam packed schedule usually seasoned by a backhanded compliment, “Oh wow, congrats on hitting your post baby body goals, but I guess all that gym time is why you can’t make carpool.” Get the gist?

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Be ruthless in protecting your head and your heart from hateful followers. Don’t let guilt or the fact that you’ve “known” someone since high school or that they are a “friend of a friend” deter you from blocking them from your posts. Not everyone you lose is a loss, and ridding yourself from grown up mean girls is most certainly a win!

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Genuine people genuinely want the best for the people they care about. Has it ever surprised you that in your online community you sometimes find MORE support and encouragement than you do from your “real life” friends? I think that’s because sometimes when there is a tinge of jealously or secret longing for things you have from people you know, it can evoke their negative feelings about themselves that they in turn project onto you. Pay attention to people who don’t clap when you win. It might be time to move on from them.

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Don’t worry about the numbers. Your followers, likes and shares are irrelevant if they are by people who are using your friendship and loyalty against you. It’s time we filter through our friends lists. Weed out our fake friends, and say farewell to the Facebook frenemies for good.

About the Author /

Sarah Ring is a small business owner living in Dallas with her husband of ten years. She is a mother to two elementary aged sons and one toddler daughter. She is passionate about travel, date nights, Southern manners & traditional children’s clothing but above anything else, finding grace in motherhood is her greatest accomplishment!

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Instagram post 17990835490280335 I totally felt this way when I was pregnant. And kind feel this way after all that turkey. 🤣🦃 Happy turkey day to all you expecting mamas!!⁠
📷: @madiford2 via Twitter⁠
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#pregnancy #pregnant #funnypregnancy #momtobe #pregnancylife #thanksgiving #mamatobe #turkeymama #babybump #pregnancyjourney #bumpie #thirdtrimester #preggo #pregnancyhelp #maternity #motherhood #momlife #expecting #mumlife #mommytobe #pregnantlife #babyontheway #inspirepregnancy #mommychick #babychick
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Instagram post 17852562805720320 Loneliness is a real thing in new motherhood and I want to be sure we talk about this. It's okay to say, "I feel lonely." We normalize one another's experiences when we share the reality of our journey. It can be so isolating when we bring our small human home and our lives revolve around his/her care. We feel detached from the outside world. The monotony of new motherhood can be heavy.⁠
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Here are some tips to combat isolation:⁠
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1️⃣ Get outside when possible.⁠
2️⃣ Video chat with friends/family.⁠
3️⃣ Join a virtual group.⁠
4️⃣ Invite someone to come over.⁠
5️⃣ Find a local mom's group.⁠
6️⃣ Listen to the radio or a podcast (it's interesting how this can make us feel connected with others)⁠
7️⃣ Run an errand--even grabbing a coffee via drive-thru can feel good.⁠
8️⃣ Get to know your neighbors.⁠
What would you add to the list?⁠
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Repost: words and 📷 by @psychedmommy⁠
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Instagram post 17867282176536875 ⁠For the week of Thanksgiving (and longer if you can!) let's focus on what we DO have instead of what we lack. The more we express gratitude and appreciate our blessings the more we recognize all of our blessings and everything we should be thankful for. 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 17855722339639264 ✈️ Tips to Survive a Plane Ride with Kids ✈️⁠
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Flying on a plane with your little one for the first time can be terrifying. Are they going to cry the whole time? How will they handle the airport, the turbulence and the landing? Well we have some tips that will help prepare you for your flight with your kids. Here's what to do to have a more enjoyable experience 😊 {Link in bio!}⁠
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Instagram post 17851960762699775 Sums up exactly how I feel during the holiday season . . . Wanting to do all the things to make Christmas magical, but also being so tired from adulting/parenting that sitting down and watching Hallmark Christmas movies sounds magical enough. ✨😂🎄🎅
But I still end up doing all the things for my baby. 🥰
(quote: @torturedbytoddlers)
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Instagram post 17853710218663622 ⁠When you put her in everything pink and even pink hair ties but everyone still calls your baby a boy. 😒😂🤷‍♀️⁠
📷: @newmumshub⁠
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📷: @danielmarquez33⁠
Repost: @maternity⁠
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📷: @healthline⁠
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Repost: @onefunnymummy⁠
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📷: @aleeandria⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #mommychick #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
Instagram post 18070428667166782 My nightly skincare routine. 🤣🤣 For real though . . . I need all the help I can get. #latherup⁠
📷: unknown⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
Instagram post 17852873872664390 Harvesting colostrum . . . look at all of that liquid gold!⁠ 😍 If your baby comes early or you are already lactating before baby arrives, it’s great to hand express into a teaspoon and gather what you’ve collected into a syringe. #breastfeedingtip
📷: @boo.b.ltd
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#breastfeeding #motherhood #momlife #postpartum #nursing #momtobe #normalizebreastfeeding #newmom #mumlife #colostrum #liquidgold #breastmilk #motherhoodthroughinstagram #mommylife #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #mommychick #babychick⁣
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📷: @modernmomprobs⁠
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